BANK OF ENGLAND SAYS “WHOA THERE LADS, AND WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU’RE GOING?”

In an unprecedented move today the Bank Of England told the bosses of the UK clearing banks to ‘sit down’. The comment came after the Bank of England had called a meeting with the major high street banks to ask them where all the money had gone. After a long silence the BoE repeated the question and finally Fred Goodwin of RBS allegedly muttered something into his shoes. The BoE asked him to speak up, then John Varley chief executive of Barclays said he would ‘nip around the corner’ to get the money which prompted HBOS boss Alan Hornby to get up, saying “ Er yeah I left it at my Nan’s..” and make to leave which made Fred jump up to and point feebly at the door. The BoE was forced to raise it’s voice and make all the executives sit down saying, “you’re not going anywhere young man”. A BoE spkesman had said they have already heard a number of excuses from executives including ‘the money being lost, to lending it to a friend, though the name of the said friend was not forthcoming, to a more surly “..I just spent it okay.. God!”.’