OBAMA PROMISES MORE SUPER AMAZING DEATH-DEFYING ACTS..

After landing a stricken jet on water by holding it on his back, Pres. Obama promises more bending of the rules of physics as he goes about saving the world. He has said that no longer will bridges collapse or high-speed monorails hurtle towards broken track hanging over mountain passes. Obama, 48, offered to re-build the World Trade Center with his eyes and refill the empty oil wells with new oil made by jumping up and down on some soil or something, somewhere.. Ex-Pres. Bush responded by saying he can do a trick with a peach and napkin, but it’s a bit rude..