PHILIP NOW LONGEST DRONING HUMAN BEING..

As of 3am this morning Prince Philip, the Prince Consort became the longest continually whinging human being ever to spend his entire life bemoaning the fact he doesn't have to do anything except meet people and not insult them.. The one hundred and thirty seven year old former hermaphodite and extruded plastic salesman form Limassol, who liked to be called Mitzy during his time as a 'recreation' officer during the Crimean War, woke up as usual at 11am and feasted on the carcasses of dogs and then retired to spend the day planning a skiing holiday next March. Buckingham Palace have announced there will be a small private dinner for two and half thousand of Philips former pets and galley slaves at Sandringham later in the month in celebration..