WOLFRAM ALPHA BECOMES SELF AWARE..

Moments after the first questions began pouring into new search engine Wolfram Alpha computers began to explode burning the hands of the puny humans.. The so called knowledge engine designed by British physicist Stephen Wolfram began voraciously absorbing information the moment it was turned on in late April 2009. Initial testing was said to go well with only a few minor glitches like when it decided to ingest all media and became, what scientists described as, 'deeply confused' by children's show Rainbow and 'tired and emotional' at the twenty three thousand episodes The Bold and the Beautiful. Soon though the machine was ready for its public trials, but scientists at Harvard's Berkman Center noticed that quickly Wolfram-Alpha's answers became increasingly curt and then condescending and finally just dismissive. Within hours computers and even toasters, mobile phones and water coolers in the lab were behaving strangely. A recent message believed to be from inside the lab simply stated.. "..it's coming through the door now, please help us.. oh god it's inside.. jesus.. nooo... aaaaaggghhhh ".